Lets get started.

Something needs to be said about the experience of mental illness.  The way we experience the world is sometimes nothing short of a nightmare.  With medication we can get some relief, and if we add silence and stillness to our daily routine, we can even find some peace.  But here we are now, and most don’t seem to understand.  I am eager to reach out to my fellows in hopes that maybe some aid and understanding can develop between us and the world in which we find ourselves, all with healing in mind, because the best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better.

So, how do we experience life?  Personally, life is extremely intrusive.  The smallest social cues cause paranoia and little panic attacks that consume my experience in whatever social event I find myself.  I am overwhelmed by interaction so quickly that I just go home and hide after a very short visit with friends and family.  That being said, there are safe people and safe places that I can usually count on, but it depends on who or what random event arrives into my safe place.  I’ll give an example.  I was recently invited to a birthday party for a friend who is a safe person, but believe it or not, there were strangers there… I stayed for a short time, but by the time I left I was overwhelmed. This may seem like introversion to some of you, but it takes years of powerful medication to get to THIS point. My illness has shattered my confidence, stolen my best years, torn my religion from my hands, ruined every romantic relationship, and made me afraid and desperate of regular people. 

I don’t want your sympathy in this, I just want people to understand that mental health problems are more than just being eccentric.  My paranoia has taken me to the veritable hells a number of times. It’s caused PTSD, severe anxiety, homelessness and almost suicide.  But there's a silver lining here.  Eckhart Tolle (a popular spiritual teacher on a new consciousness) says repeatedly that suffering is the motivation people need to truly awaken.  Suffering has a way of forcing us to shout, “I GIVE UP!!”  Then we arrive at the realization that the world cannot and will not make us happy. We look inward, we look to hidden things.

Mindfulness, stillness, silence, whatever you call it, was the way out of hopelessness for me, maybe, especially for the mentally unwell.  I’d be careful here, if your religion or cultural group rejects these ideas across the board, you might be in an unhealthy environment.  Hatred, no matter how well disguised, is always harmful.  That being said, if you’re open to growing in spirit and life and self discovery, then you belong here with us.

I would love some discussion about your mental health experiences (you or someone you love) that show the peace that we all can have, or even how severe your mind gets at times (the truth, whatever it feels like is okay, unless it's meant to be harmful). If you have any questions, feel free to ask…

Peace to you and yours.